little seeds

it's hard to keep track of who you are when you feel like you change too much. what's more difficult is keeping track of who you are when you don't change at all; new insights are sparse and you can't illuminate everything about being who you are. it's like you're constantly kept in the dark. in this sense, it could come to the absence of "you."

i honestly don't know which of these two categories i belong to, but all i'm certain of is that knowing the self fully is difficult, if not entirely impossible. it's hard to believe in anything. should i blame nature or nurture? do i define myself with the things i love? or do they define me? do i own or am i owned? it's quite hard to tell anything apart, since everything seems like an interchangable mess.